The Phonecall
by rubic-cube
Summary: What happens to the Bond girls that phone to call for 007? Well, they are dealt with with a little bit of imagination from Moneypenny.


Disclaimer – I don't own Ian Fleming's works.

The Phone-call

Frantically pacing, Mary Goodnight looked very much relieved when Moneypenny from the fifth floor walked through the door to 00s office. She smiled warmly at M's secretary when they noticed one another and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank you again Jane", she said quietly as she got up and vacated her desk and chair to her friend. "You would think that after six months in this post I would know how to handle them but 007's girls are very persistent and in a league of their own!" She shook her head, flipping her short black hair out of her face.

With a compassionate gaze to the petite frame of Goodnight, Moneypenny could only roll her eyes at the famous mention of Bond's extra luggage that always came with his missions. "It must be a trait", she replied while glancing down at the papers in front of her. "Who do we have now to add to the ever growing list?"

"A twenty six year old Fanny Price from Ireland with red hair and striking green eyes. She was the party hostess and worked directly for the target and therefore James 'attached' himself to her", Mary recited off easily. "She has been phoning every day this well and I can't seem to shake her with the usual lines of he's in a meeting, out for lunch, doesn't want to be disturbed," Goodnight paused before a wicked gleam came across her face, " and you do come up with the best cover story!"

Moneypenny bit her bottom lip at the praise and allowed a small smile to filter onto a face before both of them shared a small giggle. A high pitch shrill broke up the moment and Jane turned her face to the phone situated on the table.

"That will be her", Goodnight murmured, "right on time."

Moneypenny unconsciously straightened her back and took a moment to collect her thoughts while her small hand reached for the receiver.

"Good afternoon, this is Mr Bond's office. How may I help you?"

Goodnight could hear the familiar female voice from the other end.

"Miss Fanny Price, I see", replied Moneypenny at the caller's insistent at being put through, "Could you give me one moment to check?" Leaving three seconds she replied in sweet tones. "I am sorry Miss Price but I am afraid that I can't give out the contact details for you to reach him."

A wail of despair followed by a few crude terms came from the other side. "I wish I could be more of an assistance", Moneypenny tried to say over another bout of wailing. Mary covered her mouth with her hand to stop the laughter from erupting.

"Miss Price", Moneypenny said sharply, "unless you are his doctor then I am not under any circumstances disrupting his shock therapy!"

A silence followed quickly and Miss Price couldn't be heard saying anything.

"I should really be telling you this but…Mr Bond has had this problem for a while. He loved his poor dead mother and has a rather bad habit of believing other women are her and attaching himself into a doomed relationship. Its been a dreadful embarrassment to his wife."

A shriek could be heard and Moneypenny moved the phone away from her ear.

"I don't think she took that well," commented Mary with a large smile.

"Yes Miss Price? Well, the dear lady died eight years ago. Mr Bond hasn't been himself since his mother has died. A great show of affection if I do say so myself! However, Miss Price is there anything I could do to help you."

There was a firm denial from the phone.

"Any messages you wish to leave?"

Another negative answer.

"Well, it was a pleasure Miss Fanny Price and I wish you good day."

With a small roll of her eyes, Moneypenny placed the receiver down gently at the very loud character of 007's conquest. Nevertheless, deep down in her heart she felt a small amount of pity for them. For all of the 00s conquests. Those girls were charmed beyond belief, believing that these men really cared for them even loved them and yet she couldn't say that it was cruelly done – it was all part of the job. The adventure. And it was the secerteries to pick up the pieces.

She looked across at Goodnight waiting for the praise of superb story telling and thanks of getting rid of the obsessive caller but Mary looked slightly stunned, pale in the face and her gaze was on something behind Moneypenny's shoulder.

"Well, Penny", came the smooth masculine voice, full of amusement, "you should have informed me of the shock therapy business and I would have skipped lunch."

Moneypenny tensed. Never had she been caught at dealing with one of the girls by one of the agents. Her and Mary always dealt with them without them.

"James", cried Goodnight, recovering slightly at seeing Bond back early from his lunch appointment, "I thought you be back at three!" she fidgeted with the hem of her skirt.

"I can tell", he dryly replied as he moved was sure steps into the room and approached Moneypenny, who still hadn't turned around at his entrance. The reason for this was Jane was trying to stop her embarrassment being noticed by Bond. Her face was bright red, although she argued that she had nothing to be a shamed of, she was just doing her job. "Now, Penny don't be shy. I thought it a wonderful story – full of surprises."

He came round and perched himself on the table, staring down at his favourite secretary. Only then was Moneypenny forced to look up into the handsome face of 007. His arms were crossed, with one eyebrow raised in amusement. He was the perfect image of Peter Pan the child that never really grows up and it suited him. Bond was naturally handsome with his tall figure, black hair and sharp grey eyes. Easily mistaken as a Hollywood actor. However, when he was charming, he was devastating good looking. Just as he was right there.

"Tell me Moneypenny are these tales thought about prier to the phone call or is it all instant imagination?"

Goodnight volleyed back between the two figures as they tried to star each other down. She was relieved that an in officer phone went off in 004 office and quickly made her getaway. Moneypenny could handle anything, she reasoned as she scuttled off from the firing line.

"Instant", Jane answered after a period of thinking that maybe denial was the best course of action.

"I see."

"You do?" Moneypenny was always sceptical when James had that gleam in his eyes – like he knows the entire world's secrets and willing to share them for something equally precious.

He leaned forward, inches away from her upturned face. "You my dear Penny are a closet writer!"

Butterflies might be going rampant in her stomach at the closeness but outside she was a picture of calm to all. Except maybe for James who seemed to know the affect he was having on her as he smirked from one corner of his mouth.

"I'm nothing of the kind", retorted Moneypenny, "I try to find the best of ending all contact with the girl."

"And shock therapy was your last resort?"

"I'm running of out ideas. There have been that many 007."

There was a small pause as he digested that. He smiled at her and jumped off the table while lifting one of hers from the desk, kissing it gently. "What would I do without you, Moneypenny?" he said in low murmur.

"Probably hiding from all those girls stalking you James", she replied softy, annoyed at her snap. She glanced down at her held hand and briefly wondered what it was like being one of those girls…

"Sorry to interrupt but James, Q needs you down asap for some training", Goodnight re-entered the room while reading off files that she was carrying.

"Ah, duty calls", muttered James softly to M's secretary alone and stared into her eyes for a second before remembering the last time he was late for Q branch. He stepped away from Moneypenny giving her a smile and an invisible tap of hat before calling out, "Good afternoon, Goodnight!" He disappeared in three easy strides.

XXXX

What do you think?? Review please!


End file.
